Assplay…or VIOLOENT THREAT?!

When I was younger, I got in trouble while riding the schoolbus. My parents’ friend always used the phrase, “I’ll lick your butt.” to her daughter, in the sense that she would spank the kid for acting like a shithead. I was in the first grade and I told a girl who was getting on my nerves that I would “Lick her butt” and sparks flew. The busdriver coudn’t believe her ears and made me repeat it. Not knowing what the fuck I’d done, I politely told the driver that I would, indeed, lick the girl’s butt. Needless to say, I landed myself in a pretty pickle and had to write 250 lines saying “I will not tell others that I will ‘Lick their butt.’”

And I was thinking today that that was probably the most hilarious thing that’s ever happened to me. I wish I still had those 250 lines. I’d probably frame them!