Pest!

I’m sitting here in my desk trying to work and there is a tiny bug flying around that keeps getting directly up in my grill. I can’t get a bead on this SOB and it’s driving me completely nuts. Earlier I caught him in my peripherals and took a mighty swing at my desk with my bare hand, slamming it down with a force that could have killed 100,000 bugs with titanium bug suits on. It made a loud crashing sound in the office and everyone was looking at me as if to say, “WTF!” My blood boiled when I lifted up my hand to discover I had not killed anything except my cool.

Now, not only is this thing still buzzing around and making me freak out, it’s BITING me all over. When I go to destroy him, he’s gone like Kaiser fuckin’ Soze.

This is the third week this guys been showing up. I thought these tiny bugs only lived a day. He’s going on his 23rd day and still has enough spunk to play these foolish games. I’m dealing with a Methuselah of the bug kingdom. Why he’s chosen me to tick off is beyond me. I don’t smell like a turd. I don’t wallow in a filthy environment. The garbage has nothing in it other than papers and an empty bottle of water!

In the time it took me to right all this down, he’s bitten me twice. When I finally squash the life out of him, it will be a sweet day.