Silver Screen Sorrow

What do you do when you’ve just enjoyed a cinematic experience and the movie credits begin to roll? If you’re like the majority of the population, you pry yourself out of your chair, unstick your shoes from the floor, and hit the goddamn bricks. You’ve got a life to live, right? You can’t be sitting around watching words scroll across the screen (unless it’s on your computer and those words are these words).

Well what about this? You’re making your way down the steps toward the exits having the same conversation everyone else is having when the music softens, the words move to the side of the screen, and the GAG REEL STARTS!!!

Now you’re left standing in the stairway and watching the gags as you keep walking on the way out because you’ll be damned if you’re going to turn around and march back to your seat. You could move to the side and stand there to see the gags, but then eveyone will know that you’re the kinda dude that gets ahead of themselves and are now reaping what you’ve sown.

So you walk right out, listening to the fading laughter of the rest of the theater that kept their cool and stayed in their seats. Well, not tonight.

Tonight, we caught I Love You Man, which was funny as all get out. When the credits began, I felt an unseen hand on my shoulder and a whisper in my mind saying, “Hang out, brother. Let’s play this one cool.”

While everyone else filed out, we sat it out to glory. The gags came on and all the jokers standing in the stairwells looked over at me with a sorry look on their face as if to say, “Dang bro. You played it cool and I’m played for a fool.” I’ll give them a nod, but that’s it. I’ve got gags to catch.