The sweetest of the sweetass sweet sweetness

The thing about having a sweet ride, is basically this: It HAS to be totally freaking sweet. You see rides that are kinda rad, but not sweet and you think, “Man, that ride is kinda rad, but it’s totally not as sweet as the sweetest ride out there.” and you’d be absolutely right. Not everyone can have a ride that is just so sweet that it can blow the freakin’ doors off of moderately sweet rides.

What goes into a sweet ride? Well you gotta put alota freakin work into a sweet ride. Sweet rides don’t come as easy as your mama, so you’ve gotta invest time and money into making your ride the sweetest it can possibly be. You can usually up your ride’s sweet level by at least a 4.5 by painting either: A) flames B) a dragon, or C) barbed wire on the side. Of course, a flaming dragon wrapped in barbed wire would be totally freakin sweet and would blow the doors off of most everything.

Second, you have to match your hubcaps. Nothing says S-W-E-E-T like having four shiny matching hubcaps gleaming in the sun when you’re crusin. If you can see your reflection in your caps, then dude, …that’s pretty freakin sweet.

Third, you have to have the right kinda neon under your car. Any car can simply drive down the strip, but a sweet ride hovers on a pillow of light that looks so sweet that people actually get hit by buses cause they are tranced by the fact that your ride is just so sweet.

Finally, the KEY to having a sweet ride is rather simple. You NEED to get the right threads when you’re ridin. If I had a sweetass nickel for everytime some chick said, “God, that ride is so freakin sweet and that dude is dressed for success.” I’m be freakin rich. And we all know how totally sweet being rich is.

That’s it, amigos. This has been the sweetest blog message ever. I’m talking like….it would TOTALLY blow the freaking doors off of other messages that are not coming close to being sweet.